If the Vault Festival had a midnight strand, surely this cracked and crazed production from Scram & Scrum would be foremost in its programme. Deliriously demented, the work cheerfully follows its own brazen logic to the extreme.

The three protagonists-Beaver, Frog and Peregrine Falcon (he bristles at the insult of being referred to casually as “Perry”)-toil away in something resembling indentured servitude, locked in a room devoid of windows or any sense of a wider world. Each day they must produce a dress for couture clientele, an officious, disdainful clerk appearing to collect the item. After each visit, their effort is soon graded on a scale of perfection, bells sounding out their score. Daily food distribution is in accordance with success or failure. Collectively, the trio is treated with contempt, seen as less than human-merely  cogs exploited for their anonymous skill. As the audience takes their seats, the performers are already on stage, engaged in activity. Beaver and Frog playfully conspire in singalongs and affectionate banter, while serious Peregrine focusses stringently on the job at hand. At first, they could be mistaken for institutionalised patients in some art therapy course or nursery kids relaxing between lessons. On the floor are basic mats upon which an afternoon nap may be taken.

Each night, they are fed fretful episodes of a deranged children’s show starring the deeply creepy titular figure. The unhinged segments unspool as filmed bits which play out on an onstage screen, as if a way has been found to directly drop the content into the unconscious. Ostensibly doling out positive, optimistic messages about self-image and self-achievement, about reaching one’s highest potential, there persists a more unseemly vein of control underneath the laboured perkiness. A degree of obedience is being pushed, a demand to conform to instruction. It is poor anxious Beaver who suffers the most from the terrible dilemma of believing he may not quite measure up, that he is somehow inherently bad and incapable of his best. This is certainly the kind of doubt sown by a tyrannical overlord meant to keep the peons in line, powerless and insecure. 

Any defiant gesture will be soundly silenced. Frog’s nurturing of Laura the ladybird will lead to no good end. A button cut off in angry frustration is cause for grievous alarm. There is uneasy talk of an absent colleague, an unoccupied fourth bed humming with foreboding. When Hutchy crawls nightmarishly through the screen and emerges onstage, like an embodiment of Freddy Krueger, his attention to Beaver takes on a punitive and mean-spirited edge, a destructive psychotic force meant to annihilate. Bewlay Dean-Stanton’s performance as Hutchy is both over-the-top and effectively unnerving, capturing the unsavoury too-muchness of many a children’s tv character. Ed Cooke’s harrowingly fragile Beaver is tragic grist for the mill, Nefyn Edwards offers comradely comfort and support as Frog and Sonny Howes as practical, steady and sound Peregrine Falcon perhaps has the best mix of qualities to break restraint. 

Director Giulia Hallworth certainly gives a distinct tone and look to the production, providing a dystopic charge, and the material hurtles along on a series of bold, startling and disturbing developments. But after a while the relentless pessimism can feel exhausting and defeatist, the narrow perspective asphyxiating. One member of the cast is boldly not even given the opportunity for a curtain call. The sheer audacity and impudence is striking, and the unwavering nihilism a bracing stance, but there is a real deterministic sensation that feels ultimately distancing and isolating, closed-off. An inspired vision, nevertheless, and a cult item in the making.

{🎟 AD – PR invite – Tickets were gifted in exchange for an honest review}

2 Star Review 3 Star Review 4 Star Review 5 Star Review 2022 2023 Adaptation Almeida Cabaret Camden Fringe Cast Announcement Christmas Comedy Dance Drag Edinburgh Fringe Edinburgh Fringe Interviews Fringe Immersive Interviews Jukebox Musical LGBTQIA+ Lyric Hammersmith Manchester Musical New Musical News New Wimbledon Theatre North West Off West End Park Theatre Play Review Revival Richmond Theatre Round Up Royal Court Theatre Shakespeare Show Announcement Show Recommendations Soho Theatre Southwark Playhouse Touring Production VAULT Festival West End

• 
  A PISSEDMAS CAROL – REVIEW – LEICESTER SQUARE
  by Amy Rye
  The infamous Sh!t Faced Showtime are back in London with a festive edition, they have taken Dickens’ classic and put a drunken spin on it. The formula is the same as other iterations of the Shi!t Faced shows, one member of the cast has been boozing, and this time it is John Milton who plays Scrooge. Before the show, half a bottle of Jim Beam, some wine, and beer have been consumed in the previous 4 hours. The rest of the cast, try to keep the show on track, also aided by James Murfitt as the compere, Charles Dickens. The … More A PISSEDMAS CAROL – REVIEW – LEICESTER SQUARE
• 
  A CHRISTMAS CAROL – REVIEW – ALEXANDRA PALACE
  by Ellie Preston
  Spine-tingling yet heart-warming, Mark Gatiss’s retelling of A Christmas Carol truly encapsulates the haunting atmosphere of a Victorian ghost story, balanced out with enough humour so as to capture the festive season. Led by Keith Allen as Scrooge, with Peter Forbes as Marley, this show is perfect for Christmas viewing. The set design by Paul Wills is instantly captivating, containing stacks of metal cabinets towering over the theatre, moveable by the cast to allow space for other central props like doors, beds and tables. In addition to this, the puppetry design by Matthew Forbes is incredibly clever, adding creepy elements to the show such … More A CHRISTMAS CAROL – REVIEW – ALEXANDRA PALACE
• 
  A WOMAN WALKS INTO A BANK – REVIEW – THEATRE503
  by Tom Carrao
  The title of this winner of Theatre 503’s 2023 International Playwriting Award by Roxy Cook may seem like the set-up to a joke, but the narrative that unspools is instead an affectionate, gently barbed and at base quite sobering portrait of three ordinary souls (and one restless feline) adrift in modern Moscow. There is much affable, satirical back-and-forth commentary on the accepted myths & stereotypes of the Russian spirit & soul. Beset by the indignities of age, opportunism, graft, fatigue, the characters orbit one another, doomed to play out their roles in an unjust, predatory and saturnine universe. The play opens … More A WOMAN WALKS INTO A BANK – REVIEW – THEATRE503
• 
  PETER PAN GOES WRONG – REVIEW – LYRIC THEATRE
  by Amy Rye
  Peter Pan Goes Wrong first premiered in London at the Pleasance Theatre in 2013, and earlier this year the show made its Broadway debut. Now the production is back in the West End for the Christmas season. Following on from The Play That Goes Wrong, in this production, J.M. Barrie’s Peter Pan is staged by the fictitious Cornley Polytechnic Drama Society and goes awry, disastrously so. The meta-comedy is filled with slapstick comedy, sometimes the humour may be predictable and silly, but it’s universally funny throughout – there is something for everyone here, and the laughs come thick and fast … More PETER PAN GOES WRONG – REVIEW – LYRIC THEATRE
• 
  GHOST STORIES BY CANDLELIGHT – REVIEW – SAM WANAMAKER PLAYHOUSE
  by George Rennie
  Drawing heavily from the classic canon of the British supernatural, HighTide’s trio of contemporary Gothic narratives uses traditional storytelling formats to address contemporary themes. Directed by Elayce Ismail, reverent musical interludes accompany tales of apparitions and nighttime conjurings that speak of women from the East of England. Unfortunately, the effect is less chilling and more lightweight, with conventional structures, predictable plot twists and an over-reliance on external forces to drive narrative shoring up some of the less relatable aspects of the genre. Nicola Werenowska’s The Beach House, perhaps the cleanest of the three tales, tells of a mother and daughter’s … More GHOST STORIES BY CANDLELIGHT – REVIEW – SAM WANAMAKER PLAYHOUSE